I have demons in me.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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