If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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