Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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