Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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