Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
