pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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