yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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