Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
