My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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