yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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