i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You ruined the universe
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
