Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize