Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
