PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
