i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
