he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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