I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
