i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
