Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
