She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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