he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
