is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My feet surprised me
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