We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize