worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
