I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
