I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize