Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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