I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
