I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
