it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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