what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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