You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
