Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
