the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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