Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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