did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
