I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I use my feet as sexual weapons
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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