"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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