Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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