john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
