If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
