i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
