I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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