your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
