Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
