Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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