THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
