I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize