If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
why is half of my head shaved?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
