sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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