I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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