Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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