i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
