I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
