Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
