Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
