don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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