you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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