Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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