$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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