your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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