drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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