That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
