Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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