I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
