apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
