I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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