everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
